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Shag the Dormouse’s excellent tips on outdoor activities are currently out of print.
Aware of this lost cavern of knowledge, and with Autumn approaching, he has allowed an item to be shown for the benefit of Bridgwater hashers only….
Chapter 4. Hashing at night without a torch.
During the summer evenings this is easily achievable. A lot of fuss is made about torches. Animals and birds don’t use them, except glow-worms of course. Therefore, the winter evenings should not create a problem; the only difference is lack of daylight. I have outlined, below, several methods of hashing without a torch.
Method A.
Adjust your eyes to the light. If you have amazing eyesight and/or are weakened by Kryptonite, this is the method for you.
Method B.
Join a group of like-minded people, tie yourselves together (after deciding who will carry the First Aid kit) and run like a line of elephants. Hot tip: always run at the back (with the First Aid kit). Hot tip 2: it may be difficult finding ‘like minded people’; try contacting a Mental Health Officer or speak to your doctor.
Method C.
If you are a loner, join a fast hash and get them to leave sweets at the Regroup. After the Regroup, try short-cutting back to your car and go home.
Hot tip: pay Hash Cash in advance; this will ensure that no search party will be out looking for you.
Method D.
Only do full-moon hashes and/or brush aluminium paint on your off-roadsters (so you can see where your feet are going). If you use the latter method it may be wise to splash some of the paint on your head (so you don’t bump your head whilst looking at your feet). Don’t like messing up your trainers? Never mind, there’s always…..
Method E.
Keep up with your fellow hashers but expect to fall over a lot. Joint protection used by skateboarders, plus some headgear, may take away the excitement but it’ll halt the rush to Casualty every week. A pocket to store your Regroup sunglasses could be a wise addition.
WARNING: All these methods (apart from method B) involve the danger of temporary blindness when scaring the shit out of someone with a torch.
Continuing his excellent series on tips for outdoor activities, Shag the Dormouse has turned his thoughts to HASH TIMES.
When laying a hash you should always estimate the time that a hash will take. Having selected your route it is useful to know the distance and the time required. A good method is to take some string and anchor it at the start. Tie a knot in the string at end of the route then all you have to do is measure it. This is best done on the map and not on the actual route. It would be annoying to run out of string a hundred metres from the end.
A method of estimating time was first described, for walkers, by W.W. Naismith in 1892 and is known as Naismith’s Rule.
I challenged myself to work out an equally accepted rule for hashing that would stand the test of time, hereafter known as Shag the Dormouse’s Rule of 2003.
For ordinary running allow 30mins for every three miles(5k) and add 50mins for every 600 metres ascent. Map contour lines(vertical interval) are set 10 metres apart. If you are also carrying flour and Regroup sweets you should change the ascent distance to 450 metres.
So, suppose your trail is twelve miles long and you have estimated a climb of 900 metres:
Running time: 4 x 30 = 120 + (1.5 x 50) = 195mins or 3hours 15mins.
Running laying time: 4 x 30 = 120 + (2 x 50) = 220mins or 3hours 40mins.
Walking laying time: (adopting Naismith’s Rule + carrying flour) = 5hours 30mins
You should, perhaps, take another look at your route.
Dormouse’s Rule does not allow for Regroup time, fitness of the pack or the weather and terrain. It can only be considered as a guide to hashing time and probably underestimates the time needed by a fit hasher.
A rough method of calculating total time that includes stops is:
Pack which includes young children… 2.25mph
Pack of moderate hashers who run perhaps
once or twice a month over lowland areas… 3.5mph
Pack of fit hashers running regularly
over lowland areas… 4.25mph
If this brilliant piece of research has wet your appetite to purchase the book of Outdoor Tips for £17.95p, (Special offer price for the undiscerning) it is no longer available. To receive your copy, please send an extra £2.65p plus 2 first class stamps. A complimentary padded envelope is included with a further £1 donation. Another option is to buy me a drink. This method has proved hugely popular with the less astute. On On.